I like NASCAR. There, I said it. I am well aware that this site is specifically about college sports but it’s my site so I can break the rules. Not only do I like NASCAR but apparently I think about NASCAR expansion possibilities and where to put a new track in my spare time. What you’re about to read is the best NASCAR expansion option and quite frankly I think it is so good I deserve to be paid for it. So am I a genius, or am I just a guy that likes to day dream at work about drinking dangerous amounts of alcohol while fast cars turn left in such a loud chaos of noise I can’t hear anyone else’s stupid voice. You be the judge. (Spoiler Alert: I am a genius.) Here is the best NASCAR expansion option.
Close your eyes. Now, image the perfect NASCAR fan (if you were actually following my directions you should be sitting there with your eyes closed not imagining anything but well move forward, regardless of your lacking ability to follow simple directions). Let me see if I can guess what’s in your head; middle age white man, works a blue color job, drives a truck, talks with a thick southern accent, hated Obama and loves the American flag. If that is the man you were imagining well I have some news that may surprise you, you are actually right for once. Congratulations. According to data that someone actually took the time to research, the most common NASCAR fan is a white man between the ages of 45-54, earns $30,000-$50,000 and lives in the South.
Now, image the average man from Louisiana (you can leave your eyes open for this part). If you are thinking of the same man I just described it’s probably because you lack essential parts of the human brain that encourage creativity, but also you are correct. I flawlessly described the average NASCAR fan as well as the average Louisiana man, essentially. Louisiana has one of the highest rates for blue collar jobs in the US at 16%, nearly doubling the state of New York with only 8.8%. Yet, New York boast one of the 23 NASCAR tracks currently in use. If a big ole pickup truck is essential to the image that I implanted in your head then you will be happy to know that Louisiana is in the top 10 states with the most truck owners. So far so good.
Now that you have a nice visual of what a Louisiana NASCAR fan looks like, let’s talk numbers. Houston is the largest city furthest from any NASCAR track. This is odd considering it’s the city with the most blue collar jobs in the US and is in the south, perfectly fitting our imaginary NASCAR fan stereotype. Although a four-hour drive to Texas Motor Speedway isn’t terrible, 6 and a half million people deserve something a bit closer in my opinion. Another large southern city without a track nearby is New Orleans. With a six-hour drive for 1.3 million people that probably hate travelling through Tuscaloosa, this seems equally unjust. Not to mention there are 830 thousand people in the Baton Rouge area that refuse to go anywhere near Sabanville unless it’s game day that are six and a half hours from Talladega. It seems fair to say there is an obvious solution to this problem lying somewhere in the middle of southern Louisiana. Fortunately for all of you, I have the answer.
Just off I-10 lies a little slice of Cajun heaven called Lake Charles, Louisiana. For those of you who haven’t spent time along the beautiful Gulf Coast, Lake Charles is a redneck’s Las Vegas. With a metropolitan population of roughly 200,000, Lake Charles is littered with casino resorts that would surprise you in luxury. Placed almost perfectly between Houston and New Orleans, this town is constantly flooded with Cajuns and Texans alike for the cheap slots and cheaper drinks. Also cheap is the property value, making a purchase for a large amount of land very reasonable. Clearly NASCAR doesn’t have a problem being in a city with legalized gambling either since they already have a track in Sin City. Only two hours from Houston and three from New Orleans, in a city that is built on tourism for casinos and practically no liquor laws, there is no better NASCAR expansion option than the Gulf Coast Super Speedway. (Thats right I already named it too, it’s regionally accurate and doesn’t exclude the Texans.)
There you have it, the best NASCAR expansion option. I know what you may be thinking, “but Snake, wouldn’t that take away from the attendance of Texas Motor Speedway and Talladega?” The answer is no you dumb idiot. A majority of Texans would still be closer to Dallas and Talladega is one of the top places to see a race for NASCAR fans worldwide. This track would simply fill the gap in a much-needed NASCAR region of America. If you have a better solution, by all means leave a comment but prepare to be embarrassed for publicly trying to argue your stupid opinion. Now someone pay me for this brilliance because as I previously stated, I am clearly a genius.